All About Me, Blaze!
There is so much to say about me...but I will be brief.
I was born on a small farm in rural Pennsylvania. My mom is a beautiful hairless Chinese Crested champion. She has many blue ribbons and show titles. I never met my dad, but I hear he is quite a guy.
When I was born, there were four of us in my litter. My brothers and sisters were all Chinese Crested puffs, destined to have beautiful long silky hair. Then, on the other hand, there was me. I was the only hairless puppy of the group. And from that point on, I knew I was destined for great things.
At the tender age of two months, I was adopted into a family in northern New Jersey. Aside from the three humans, there was a standard poodle, two annoying cats and a parrot, who I have to admit, is a really good communicator. Life as a young pup was fine, until I heard those dreaded two words, "Puppy Kindergarten." At first I was excited, I thought I was going to learn how to read and write, possibly even to communicate as well as Lassie. ("Timmy's in the well! Timmy's in the well!") But alas, it was nothing like that. At Puppy Kindergarten, they actually wanted to teach me how to do things like stand, sit, heel, and speak. Now I ask you, what dog doesn't know how to do that? We're naturals! But then I realized, they were teaching us to do those things when our owners wanted us to do them. I love my owners more than anything...but, I thought, why should I do something like "sit," just because someone else wants me to do it? Needless to say, my independent thinking didn't go over well with the others at puppy training. Pegged as a puppy with a bad attitude, I drew the scorn of other pups and owners alike.
So every Friday, for eight weeks in a row, I had to attend Puppy Kindergarten. And with each week, it became worse and worse. I knew none of the dogs liked me (they didn't admire my independent spirit), and all the owners were laughing at me behind my back. (So what if I'm naked, I'm proud to be hairless. Get a life guys!) But I refused to compromise my principles. The eight weeks felt like torture. And, I guess I might even have growled every now and then when I was teased about my hairless status. In looking back, I think I was just misunderstood. But then, that final week, something incredible happened.
It was announced that there were to be puppy races. Our owners were to stand on one end of the room and call us to "come" to them. A system was set up to devise which dog was ultimately the fastest. And guess what?!?! I was!!! Every time I was called, "Blaze, come!" I would get so excited,that I would run as fast as my legs would possibly carry me. Everyone was amazed! Time and time again, I won each race, until I was crowned the champion! I beat out dogs four times my size! Even the extra-large Pit Bull/St. Bernard mix puppy was left in the dust. And what happened next was one of the greatest moments of my life. Everyone started to wildly applaud and cheer for me! Suddendly they all loved me! What a feeling. I never forgot it. And so I learned at a very early age... everyone loves a winner.
My life went on very uneventfully for two years. I was enjoying life as a family dog. Everyone seemed to accept my principles, although at times they did accuse me of having a bad attitude. (I say, it was time they bought a new family room couch. That color was so over.) But I still had that nagging feeling that I was meant for greatness. So one day, we were all wathcing TV, when it dawned on me. I'm handsome, I'm thoughtful, I have a healthy ego...I should become an actor! It was time for me to share my talents with the world. As fate would have it, several weeks later I met a fellow actor during one of my walks. He had recently done a dog food commercial and was trying out for the traveling production of "Annie." He told me he thought that I had a great face for acting. And he had recently seen a naked dog in a big Hollywood movie. So, I contacted his agent, and saved my dog biscuits for weeks, until I could afford to have my acting screen test and portfolio done. (The results you can see on My Acting Page.) Unfortunately, I never got any roles. Grrrrr... For several months I was heartbroken. I felt so down and rejected. I didn't want to do anything but sit on the couch, run, sleep and eat. But then I realized, acting just wasn't my calling. Yet, I have to admit that there are still some days when I find myself wondering about what might have been.
Little did I know, my true calling was yet to be revealed.
Even when I was down in the dumps I always knew, life is good. I am surrounded by people who love me. I get two square meals a day, and lots of veggies and biscuits. (Yes...I do love veggies.) I have the run of the house and get plenty of fresh air and excercise. And so several years went by. It was slow though. One year seemed like seven. But then it all started to happen...
There I was, on the couch, minding my own business, when the furnace repairman comes in. He seemed like a nice enough guy. I didn't have to growl or anything to keep him in line. All was going well when destiny struck! The repariman threw a glance my way and said, "So what's with the Kielbassa?"He was talking about me! The nerve of him. So I've been going a little heavy on the dog buscuits and couch time. But, I digress. So I decided, I wasn't going to just lie around on the couch during the day anymore. I was going to do something to demand everyone's respect. I was going to make use of the notebook computer that my owner kept on the couch next to me. And I thought, I'm smart...I'm curious...I have long toes that curl! As it ended up, mastering the keyboard was pretty easy. Then, in my spare time, between naps, meals and walks, I taught myself HTML and CSS. And with spell check I have "no worries!" (although I would like to note that studies show there is no correlation between spelling and intelligence anyway).
And the rest is history. Yes, I was born for great things. And this proves it. I am the first, if not one of the first dogs to ever have his own website. Just remember the two life lessons I have learned: (1)Persistence pays...especially if you're aking for dinner leftovers! and (2)The truth will win out...unless you can successfully blame it on the cat and then get the parrot to back you up.